Specialness

Is anyone really special? Most people would say yes, certain people are special. But I believe the idea that people are special is a barrier to understanding.

Believing in "special" is a lot like believing in luck: it's all in the eye of the beholder. Are you lucky because you survived a car crash, or are you unlucky that you got in to one in the first place? It's all relative. There isn't some universal code for defining luck or specialness, unless you count something mythical like God.

Think of the best time that you've ever had with another person, the most connected you ever felt to someone else. That person seemed very special at the time, and you maybe thought that they were the only person who could make you feel that way. But you can find someone else to take you to that place, though odds are that you won't or can't. And that's what makes the person seem so unique. But they aren't. It just seems that way.

That is not to say that I think everyone is the same. I just prefer to think of people as interesting rather than special. If everything you can think of has already been thought, or can be thought by someone else, then by definition you are not unique - but you can be interesting.

I don't think that this is a pessimistic view of people. In fact it makes me value people more. I may be with someone and the fact that they aren't unique (and I am not unique) makes me appreciate them more. Because just as the odds favor there being someone else out there who can make me feel that way, the odds also favor me not finding another such person. Appreciate what you have.